my vision

far across those seas,

i see a land,

greener it appears,

but they say it isn't.

what choice do i have,

but to cross it,

and see for myself,

what lies there for me.

trotting on this land,

has been futile,

a waste of time and energy,

to achieve nothing.

i will take the risk,

when i have nothing,

nothing at all to lose,

but everything to gain.

seas stand in between,

hitting the lands hard,

sand pulling away,

beneath my feet.

here i stand firm,

trying not to be scared,

but my legs tremble,

heart beats harder.

Now that am all grown up,

I realise how easy it was,

to be young and careless.

How wrong I was,

when I wanted to get old,

and be on my own.

Coz now I realise,

I cannot make a mistake,

cannot take a u turn.

I have to be responsible,

think about things,

before i make any choice.

I cannot ask for shelter,

cannot ask someone to cover up,

coz this is, 'being on my own'.

Growing up brings with itself,

5 years of your life,

that are still to come.

Now there is no short cut,

as for every choice, I have to analyse,

5 years in future.

pocket money turns to salary,

and it is much more,

more than I thought I cud spend.

But its never enough,

coz now I am not a kid anymore,

I do not get anything for free.

maybe its late, irreversible,

cannot be Benjamin Button,

that's what I have to accept.

aisa kyon eh khuda?

aaj subah jab ammi ne,

dudh ke glass ke sath uthaaya,

kuch kaam btaaye the.

baste mein tiffin daalte waqt,

aaj ke test ke kuch sawaal,

ammi ne fir dohraahe the.

chaaye peete hue,

akhbaar se 2 minute nikaal,

abbu ne all d best kahaa tha.

nikla tha jab main aaj subah,

school ke liye ghar se apne,

shaam ko milne ka waada kiya tha.

par kyon khuda, kyon,

aaj saamne khada hun tere,

aankhon mein dekh ke btaa.

tere naam pe jinhone,

mere doston ko dard diya,

kya unhe tune hi banaaya tha?

ab kaun karega poore,

jo sapne mere liye dekhe the,

jo waade aaj subah hi kiye the?

aaj kuch sawaal hai mere,

agar 10 baras hi the mere paas,

toh kyon mujhe insaan banaaya.

raat ko sote waqt,

mujhe rajaai se odne waala,

aaj kafan se mujhe lapet raha hai.

aansoon mere jisne ponche,

woh maa meri, meri kabar pe,

aansoon apne bahaa rahi hai.

dard hai mujhe,

uss kaafir ki goli ka nahi,

par apne toote parivaar ka.

unn kuch ghanton ne,

kaafi parivaar ujaad diye,

kyi sapne dafan kar diye.

insaaniyat ka ant nahi hai,

yeh hai tere pe vishwaas ka ant,

kyon khuda, aisa kyon par?

away from my home,
and away from the friends,
i sit alone and ponder.
ask myself if i miss somethings,
some people in my busy life.

and the answer brings tears,
deep within i feel like being incomplete.
miss my mom,
the delicacies, and her anger.
miss those pecks from her.
miss my dad, and the talks we shared.
keeping wishes before him,
and then forcing to get it fulfilled.
my sweet little darling,
and those brother sister fights.
i really miss those times,
when v got together to have late night ice creams.

i miss the friends i left behind,
though have made many close here,
but still you guys had ur place.
those parties on every occassion,
and the fun in the school.
those rides on bikes in the evening,
playing cricket every weekend.
i miss celebrating,
even the wins and loses.

moving ahead in my life,
look what all i've sacrified,
with a hope to succeed,
and vision to become what i dream.
its not only hard,
but life can be really cruel.
at times u wished to have ur childhood back,
wonder how cool it was.